What are you doing in here?

What are you doing in here?

1000 750 Dads Patch

When people make something normal feel a little awkward…

Daddy daycare is fun, especially when the boy and I jump in the car and go on a little adventure. On this certain occasion, we hit the local shopping mall to have a wander around, do a bit of shopping and pick up some groceries. It was going well, we’d had a coffee, Taylor had received the token smiles from passers by and we were ticking off the to do list. Then the little man gets a little bored of sitting in his pushchair and wants dad to carry him around and help him see what the big people see. It’s then that I realise that the other reason for Taylor being so fidgety is his wet bum. What? I’m still getting used to the tell tale signs.

This is when our little adventure starts to take a dramatic turn. Now, for a start, this mall is one of the better ones as far as public conveniences is concerned, as they actually appreciate that dads are parents too. Hence the reason the kids toilet is called a Parents Room and is conveniently located for all parents to access, not tucked away in the Ladies toilet like so many other malls/stores deem appropriate. On entering the convenient Parents Room is where it all started to get a little awkward for this dad.

Let me just jump back fifteen years or so, to when my dad and I once walked into a pub in a small Welsh village. Upon entering we heard the locals chatting away over their beers and it sounded like a great place for a dad and son to enjoy a pint. As soon as us two out of towners entered, the chatting stopped and the silence could have been cut with a knife. We took this as a sign that our custom wasn’t all that welcome and left. Why am I telling you this? Well, this was the scenario upon entering the changing room. Only this time, the room was full of uptight mums who were trying to use their deathly silence to make me leave. This time around it wasn’t an option, as nothing was going to stop me from doing what needed to be done and free Taylors bum from that soaking nappy.

It felt like every move I made was being judged and scored. I placed Taylor on the changing table without banging his head, easily a 8/10. Removed trousers in one clean move, 9/10. I think the fact our boy was wearing a cloth nappy earned a bonus point. Cleaned him and replaced the nappy, 6/10, damn tabs on the nappy are always a pain. Then the real game changer, I tried to put both legs into one leg of his shorts and the little man was starting to get annoyed…5/10. With the change done and judged, we started to make our way out of the lions den.

It has to be said, it’s not always like this, sometimes the Parents Room is empty and then its just Taylor doing the judging, he’s getting less critical these days, probably because he knows his dad is just trying his best and the fact is, he’s a fuckin’ baby and can’t do it himself!